someone

I can't stop listening to Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald.
Well, actually, it's them and Bob Dylan.
I feel weird.
I feel like I'm in love with someone I haven't met yet.
I feeling all these things, I'm missing all of these things, but I don't know what I'm feeling, or who I'm missing.

I feel like I've been transitioning a little too fast.
I don't know.
I just want to be in love again.
I want to have someone to miss. I want to have someone to look forward to seeing. I want to have someone to kiss good bye. I want to have someone to make me laugh when I'm sad. I just want to have someone. But the weird bit is that I don't quite yet feel the need to have someone. So that's kind of a bummer.

I want someone to play with my hair. I want someone to fall asleep next to. I want someone to get sushi with. I want someone to tell me to calm down. I want someone to tell me I'm being stupid. I want someone to sit with me in the library while we study. I want someone to dance to jazz with. I want someone to get tea with. I want someone to stay up late talking with.

I want someone to be there. I want to be there for someone.

I want to rub someone's shoulders when they're tired. I want to kiss someone to sleep. I want to listen to someone tell me about their day. I want to invite someone over to watch movies. I want to make mexican hot chocolate for someone. I want to play a song for someone. I want to wrap a blanket around someone. I want to grab someone's hand when they're scared. I want to be there. I want to be enough. I want to be someone's, someone.

Maybe I do need it. Maybe I don't. I'm not sure. I can't tell. It's feeling all jumbled right now. It feels lost in translation. How do you figure out the difference between needs and wants? It's a new year, I'm hopeful. I know what needs to happen. I just wish I could figure out how it was supposed to happen.
I guess I should be grateful.
Eventually it's bound to happen, no?
Man, I just really want someone.