LUCKY ONES

I don't have my book with me, but I have to write it down for my own sake.
So if anyone actually reads this stuff you'll just have to buckle down & bare with me.

Jan 21.
Held hands.
Jan 22.
Talk.
Jan 28. 
Kissed.
Jan 29. 
"I love you"
Jan 30.
The lake.
Jan 31. 
Sushi date w/A&C

I CAN'T
BELIEVE
ANY OF THIS
IS REAL.

It's fast.
No one needs to tell me that.
I know it.
It's so fast.

It's easy.
I feel like it's someone I've known for a really long time.
Even though that's not the case, that's how I feel.
It's easy to feel safe.
It's easy to feel confident, about my feelings, about his.

It's weird.
I thought I'd at least be scared at first.
I thought I'd feel something holding me back.
That's what always happens.
I'd feel anxious.
I'd want to run.
I'd start to cry.

But this was completely different.
I feel strong.
I feel confident.
I don't have to watch him, or take care of him, or make sure he's okay.
It doesn't matter.
He is him, and I am her.
It feels like two individuals, being independent, but in sync.

I feel so positive and happy with him.
It's strange. I can't do it justice, the words won't come.
It just feels so much better than before.
It feels so right.

I don't feel wounded.
I don't feel dependent.
I don't feel pitied.

I feel appreciated.
I feel respected.
I feel bold.

I'm happy.
I'm not expecting anything.
I'm not planning anything.
I'm just happy.