11/13/14
I'm supposed to be writing a 5 page biology paper right now. But I can't. I have this song on repeat and I'm just trying to understand who's singing it. Not literally, but figuratively. Which one of us is asking the other to love them? I just want to sit here and cry, but I can't. I don't even know why I want to cry, but I do. There are so many people hurting right now and it's pissing me off. No- I'm not pissed. I just feel hopeless I guess. But for other people. I'm getting behind in silly things. Things that aren't hard at all. I'm just trying to understand how any of this happened.
What am I doing here? Why am I doing any of these things? Are they for me? Are they for others? Does it matter? One minute I'm telling a friend of mine to go to his knees for answers, and the next I feel too ashamed to wear the medallion around my neck. I don't like to look at myself naked. Maybe that's too much information, but I don't really care anymore. I feel like a shell. I feel like there are lots of people putting beautiful bright things in me and I'm helping them fill myself with all these amazing things, but somehow there's a leak. I can't find it, but I know it's there. And everything keeps spilling out.
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