darcy

Did you know there are more nerve endings in your lips then there are in your genitals? I don't know if that's completely true. I read it in cosmopolitan. I kind of hope it is though because I just had the most wonderful goodnight make out with my boyfriend. I know how that sounds. I know that's annoying if you're single and reading this. But I just can't stop thinking about how grateful I am to have him. I'm not going to sit here and write about how he's the greatest boyfriend in the world, because 1: I've already done that, and 2: that's impossible. He's not the greatest boyfriend in the world, there's no such thing. But he's the greatest person in the world for me. I'm trying to keep from being that girl that only posts about her boyfriend, but seeing as this is my blog and anyone who reads this has the agency to not, I'm just going to go ahead and write it anyway. 

The only way I can feel to properly describe being with him is the final scene of Pride & Prejudice 2005. Not the American alternate ending- though I do feel as though that would depict the feeling as well..

It's surreal.

 The feeling is like nothing else. 

And it's every time I'm about to leave him and he leans in to kiss me. 

When I see him for the first time of the day, he might as well be wearing a trench coat walking through a fogged meadow. My heart is full and my palms get sweaty. I get excited, and anxious, I can't stop the smile from spreading across my face. I resist the urge to look way- all the while giving into the urge to stare at him. I won't deny it, I've done the whole, "your hands are cold." *kisses hands while staring into eyes lovingly* bit. And ladies is works like a charm, literally. Being that close to someone else's face. Wanting to be that close to someone else, because believe me, it's hard for me to get this close to someone let alone want to be that close to their FACE. 

It's surreal. 

He'll kiss me, so intensely, so perfectly. He'll lean his head softly against mine. He'll graze my lips with the tip of his thumb right before I feel his lips softly brush mine. He does the whole tuck my hair behind my ear, he does the whole hold my face in his hands. It's perfection. For a moment in time when we're together, nothing is impossible. Nothing is difficult, nothing is broken. For the moment that he has me in his arms, I am at complete peace with what is to come. And the moment I leave him, I start praying for the hours to go by swiftly until I get to see him again. 

He's not the greatest boyfriend in the world, there's no such thing. But he's the greatest person in the world for me. He's my Mr. Darcy. Every time I'm with him, my heart sings. I smile more, I laugh more, I believe in myself more. I'm not sure if that's what Darcy was for Elizabeth, but that's what my boyfriend is for me. The kiss with the sun in-between your faces, that's what my boyfriend is for me. He's the greatest person in the world, for me.

 I didn't know you could love someone so much. 

It's surreal.