Unspoken Rules & Boys Sweaters

    I'm just assuming this, because I don't know, but I feel like there's some sort of unspoken rule about blogging more than once a day (or in this case night) that every social network has. Just like updating your facebook status or tweeting more - although tweeting could go either way- than once a day automatically makes you inferior to the rest of the world that seems to have more self control. But as so many before us have said, rules are meant to be broken, and whether this includes the unspoken rules I'm not entirely sure, and really don't care. I'm a rule breaker.
   This last week I ditched roughly 3 classes with a boy I've grown close too this summer. Which actually is much more dangerous and heart racing as you would think, considering my school this year has chosen to become incredibly over dramatic and take unnecessary lengths to make sure we all attend our scheduled classes. Which in turn has given me more motivation to not attend my classes and want to drop out of high school all together...  ANYWAYS; so this boy.
   Yes, this boy who may or may not be the reason for my frequent ditching (more likely not, and I'm not just saying that.. well maybe) has become a rather significant part of my life recently. We hung-out a lot in the summer, went on drives, shared secrets, blah, blah, blah, and suddenly I'm now wearing his Thrashers Magazine sweater to bed for the third night in a row.

   I barely even know that much about skating. But what I do know is that any chance I get I slip in this large, navy blue sweater and just think about him. Weird I know. Just the other day it seems like we drove together for the first time, and now I'm spending evenings in his basement having deep conversations about our parent's divorces and picking up Indian take out. Suddenly I'm resisting the urge to text him because I fear I'm being annoying or pushy where as before I just called him to talk without thinking twice.
   Now I'm wondering if I should put on more mascara before he picks me up where as before I'd answer the door in sweats. Regardless of what exactly I've been changing about my self, the fact of the matter is that I'm scared now. I'm scared to show my face for longer than 5 seconds because I'm self conscious. I'm scared I'm not capable of being myself when we're alone. I'm scared of what I'm changing into now that I know he likes me "that way". I'm scared I'm not smart enough to realize I like him "that way" too.. I've noticed now more than ever that things are much easier said than done. Which is really too bad; for a lot of reasons but I care too much about you to elaborate.
     Honestly, all I want to do is wear his sweater all the time, and be comfortable around his folks, and not have to worry about people thinking that we're making out and holding hands every 5 seconds. CAUSE I ASSURE YOU I'M NOT MATURE ENOUGH FOR THAT. Although I wouldn't mind trying. Bottom line, I just want this kid's sweater. I'll probably give it back to him so he can make it smell good again, but then it's mine.