I hate religion right now.
I hate God.
I hate trust.
I hate love.
I hate everything that's supposed to be good.
I hate being dependent.
I hate being weak.
I hate being a part of something.
I hate wanting to stop when running away.
I don't want to forgive people. I don't want to move on. I can't fucking do it.
That girl was a bitch. And I can't ever move on because I know exactly how I felt when she did something bitchy and if I ever think about it the same exact shitty feeling comes back. So as long as I feel the feeling- I can't move past it.
Same with that bitch of a girl and boy. Fuck them. I know I can choose and make my own decisions and I allow myself to feel these ways- but fuck them. I would never feel these things on my own, I know it. I would never hate someone so much on my own. Not without comparing them to those two original mother fuckers. I fucking hate what they did to me. I don't care what lesson I "learned". I hate people now. And that's my decision. That's what I've decided. They all hurt you. They all pick someone else. They all get tired and leave.
I hate these dark spells.
I hate when I let myself feel.
I hate being with people.
I hate pretending I deserve more.
